For me personally, last year was ridiculous trying to get the vaccine, and that was while there was still some sanity and trust, however minuscule, left in the system.
First time I tried to get it, it was out of stock everywhere. Second time I tried to get it, I was turned away for arriving too close to closing time (aka 45 minutes until close) at a walk-in clinic. Third time I was turned away because I mentioned that I had said “Hi” to my neighbor outdoors while they were passing by in their car and then found out about an hour before my appointment that the neighbor just tested positive for covid so the pharmacist refused to administer it. So I went to the next closest pharmacy, which had a walk-in option, and they didn’t even ask me any health questions or exposure questions, they only asked me for insurance information and which arm I preferred.
This year, I have really shitty insurance so I’m pretty much expecting a shit show even if the government and medical field weren’t already a shit show. Fortunately, so far I’ve been hearing that it’s widely available and that there are ample qualifying reasons for insurers to pay for it.
It weighs heavily on me, to say the least. It’s nearly impossible to have an even slightly tangentially political conversation with them that doesn’t leave me deeply disturbed and/or infuriated, so I pretty much avoid it altogether. Now the deepest conversation I allow is “how’s the weather” and “what are you having for dinner tonight?”, and that’s sad.
But it’s absolutely the case that engaging with them on political stuff is destructive to my psyche. And even worse, they have a way of turning otherwise entirely non-political topics into something political. These are not the people who raised me or the values they raised me with. And there’s no real logical consistency to any of it other than it’s definitely going to be in agreement with whatever the latest opinions are on Fox News and Facebook.
As a kid, the only particularly “conservative” view point they shared was on immigration. They absolutely believed the whole “Mexicans are taking our jobs” bullshit. I remember even asking them why they aren’t mad at their bosses for giving their jobs to the “Mexicans” and never getting a satisfactory answer for why that was given a pass.
And then from that one little common thread, the rest of the conservative/Republican agenda has wormed its way in. So, naturally as the conservative agenda morphed into a more fascist agenda, so have my parents’ beliefs. With age and health related mental declines, these ideals have become more cemented. These are people who will never forget or forgive Democrats for NAFTA, but also believe that Republicans wanted universal healthcare for all yet Democrats gave us Obamacare instead. They grew up growing and selling weed to make ends meet, and yet still believe it should be illegal and people deserve to be in jail for it. They have a gay kid but believe gay marriage is wrong, because the Bible says marriage is only between a man and a woman, and the government shouldn’t be involved at all.
They honestly buy into the idea that police officers and pastors are infallible. If someone is arrested, it’s because they are guilty of something. No pastor would ever sexually abuse a child, they are a pastor after all. If the president says something is true, it must be true. And again, none of this is how they raised me or the ideals they expressed when I was growing up, so it’s definitely like living in some kind of bizarre reality that’s tough to come to terms with.