Tbf, I see you as more of the issue than anything.

You’re a leader at work and have gotten way too involved in the personal lives of your coworker and subordinate, regardless of intent.

My advice is to look outside of work for interpersonal and romantic interests. You are already experiencing the consequences of your involvement, and the way you feel about this situation is the signal you should be listening to and taking heed of.

The more time goes on, the more I feel this.