I feel it is an obligation for any older folk to pass wisdom to those not-in-the-know of things regarding life. Some people are born directionless and they get lost in their lives and before they know it, they’re knee-deep in debt, they’re in awful minimal-wage jobs, they make poor decisions regarding their love lives .etc
I have several and my more prominent one is;
- Know Your Numbers
This is a key and must-have piece of knowledge. You must know your numbers. How much you’ll earn a month, how much your expenses are, how much is in your bank account, interests and much more. I don’t care if you’ve hated math growing up, you will need to know this. Because going off on guesswork and estimations, only gets you so far before you slip up. Once you slip up financially, missing a payment, you will fall behind faster than you’ll get back ahead or break even. As someone said, everyone is one car repair or medical emergency away from being in poverty.
- Do not get kids in your teens and 20s
Your teenage and young adolescent years, are better spent figuring out who you are and what you want to achieve. Recklessly getting kids with someone who you thought you loved or poor planning are reasons people end up paying child support and having to go to family court and having to deal with custody battles for the rest of their lives. Supporting a kid is $250k PER child, that’s the average, moreso because of the economy. Is it really worth the few minutes of sex at all for that expense?
- Avoid Jail
Going to jail, over anything, is a bad setback to have in life. If you think finding a job is hard normally with the way the job market is, it’ll be twice that if you have a criminal record. That is just shit not a lot will be ignored.
You’ll lose time, you’re likely to lose any jobs you’ve had at the time of going to jail, you may polarize family and friends even. It’s just not worth it, regardless. The more times you end up in jail too, consider your life over.
- Thrift and Thrift Away!
Thrifting can be a dirty word to some who prefer to get things new, which I understand. But it is a money-saver in the long run. For example, my apartment is 85% of thrifted items and I have a hard time recalling anything I’ve spent more than $10 for, aside from select things I bought new because I wanted them new, like some appliances.
Just try not to be a hoarder if it can be helped.
The scares part about being an adult is that by the time you realize you are an adult you will be a dozen or so major decisions into the process. If you make the wrong choices those decisions can only be fixed by years of hard work.
So think before you choose.
- No means no
- Always require the use of a condom
- Take care of your health.
Older people (30+)
LOLolol…
Oof, I feel this right in the back problems.
What’s with all the 30-yos with back problems like that’s not an age where you’re supposed to have a bad back yet lol
I’m sitting here reading this and doing my back stretches before work as we speak.
Seriously
I’d give my left testicle to be 30 again.
32 and I’m guessing my sciatica is angry because my right testicle hurts whenever my lower back hurts… Am I you? Is my nut gonna fall off? How do I cancel the agreement with Beelzebub?
Go outside. Interact with real people.
Everything feels like it happens so fast now and yet I have nearly no free time despite all this convenience. I did things one at a time and had to make an effort to do things like shop or go to the bank or pay bills or whatever. I cannot believe how many books I read and all the time I spent in the local library just browsing the stacks of all sorts of random shit; it was not routinely pared down to popular books, but had all sorts of odds and ends. I deliberately listened to music by putting a tape in the machine, and it was active listening. Radio was creative and beautiful. The local bar I spent time at was home to all sorts of burgeoning local bands. Food was not “small plates” at trendy bistros, but was sizeable satisfactory portions of ordinary food. A trip to the mall was an adventure, and my mall even had a library branch in it. You went to fish fry dinners at the Royal Canadian Legion on Fridays. One restaurant we used to go to we had to write our order down on a pad inside the kitchen, and the cook would come and slap your food in front of you. If you phoned someone and they weren’t home, you just phoned later on.
Nothing felt shitty and overly marketed and ads just existed and weren’t tailored to you. Television sitcoms lasted 26 seasons and you had to wait until next week to see the next one.
Even social media was better before Facebook, it felt organic and you made friends for life. Even early Twitter felt like this constant humorous conversation even if you didn’t agree with someone. Nobody was routinely crucified for misstepping in public (not that they shouldn’t sometimes). Things were definitely more generic but didn’t feel fake and marketed and inauthentic. Google was better and actually found things and didn’t just spit out a few results and then start adding unrelated things.
I’m not trying to sing the ballad of the boomer in B Minor; I appreciate convenience. I am tired of seeing bloated companies turn everything into shit. I want art and music and local watering holes to flourish. I want food to be good and satisfying. I don’t want every episode dropped at once. I just want things to slow down.
So my advice is slow down. Do one thing at a time. Go places and do one thing. Go to old restaurants. Go read paper books at the library. Go listen to a band at a bar. Do things. Don’t reduce it all to your phone. This is my goal for the new year is to do things.
Well said.
- Do not assume older people have anything at all figured out
I’m almost 40 coming in here to find informative advice to improve myself
True that. We’ve just got a longer list of mistakes.
That’s just it. “Old(er) People: give me your worst fuckups”
My best advice? Stop considering 30 to be old.
I take offence at 30 being old 😅
Well, i remember being like 25 or so, and i was out drinking. I met this guy and he was alone so we took him with us. We talked, had a lot of fun and everything and at some point i asked: how old are you. Because he kinda looked our age, maybe younger. He said: 32.
It blew my mind. I was like oh my god, this guy looks so young, and he’s ancient. We showed him around and asked random people to guess his age. Omg, can you believe he’s 32 and still up at 2am? Crazy i know.
I am now 40 years old, and find the thought of someone being 32 and old absolutely bizarre, but i do always remember that story. Also i’m now the 40 year old that gets shown around having people guess my age. I think i took over the curse.
After 60+ years I don’t offer generic unsolicited advice any more (I learned that lesson) but if I were going to break that rule, I’d suggest you read books. Actually read them too, don’t rely on audio books, and read as widely as you can. Sci-fi, mystery, romance, historical, non-fiction, just try to read a book a month. To lose yourself in a book is one of the great ways to maintain mental health.
Also, don’t offer unsolicited advice.
Can you elaborate on the why you don’t offer unsolicited advice? Does this include not giving advice to children or people in the way of harm?
People are naturally resistant when told “what to do” so advice isn’t often very helpful.
My family has been through two “don’t get married” interventions. Neither worked, both ended in divorce.
Well that also leads to the saying that you can’t force a horse to drink water but you can lead them to it. Which follows with play stupid games and win stupid prizes.
If anybody hasn’t learned from their failings by not taking sagely advice, then the blame is flat on them for the fuck up.
“Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.”
What bunkyprewster said.
Feng shui was originally presented as a mystical, “wive’s tale” system exactly because of this. If a sage told a young person to keep their windows clean because then your house will be full of “clean” light instead of “dirty” light, and this will improve your mood, the young person would tell him to shove off. But if he says cleaning your windows invites the lucky spirits to enter your home, it plants a seed in the person’s mind and they might actually try cleaning their windows.
A lot of advice is like medicine. Whether it is good or bad for you depends on what you are or aren’t suffering from
If you’re romantically interested in someone, say “hey, I’m romantically interested in you”.
Do not have a “crush”, do not have a friend you’re secretly in love with, do not secretly pine for anyone. It is not interesting, it does not make you stronger, you are not the protagonist in a romance novel, and you are dumb if you want to try to “save our friendship”.
If the other person is not interested, say “Thank you for your honesty. It’s been nice knowing you” and move on with your life. Stop wasting time. Life is too short.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. Don’t waste precious time on imaginary scenarios.
Problem is if it’s a coworker to whom you’re interested in. A lot of people are hesitant to ask their coworkers for date because of the adage “don’t shit where you eat”.
I’ve spent my whole adulthood working in hospitals. They’re shitholes, every single last one of them. Do every single thing you can to never be in one.
Drink water, plain water. Eat whole grains and leafy vegetables. Treat red meat like a dessert (and if you’re morally opposed to meat, make sure you’re still getting all your essential proteins). Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it at least three times a week. Either join an organized religion or specifically curate a group of people you do a weekly activity with who will come check on you if you suddenly stop showing up. And while you’re at it pick a mindfulness activity that you either enjoy or that brings you peace (prayer qualifies but so can yoga or a lot of other things). Avoid nicotine and alcohol at all costs. Go easy on the weed, and avoid anything more interesting without guidance from either a medical professional or some kind of traditional expert on those substances. And if a competent doctor listens to your specific situation and tells you to do or not do something I’ve mentioned, listen to them instead of me.
Decide who you would want to speak for you on your death or near-deathbed. Choose people both trustworthy and level-headed who will put your wishes over their own emotions. Choose multiple people, because it’s not unlikely that any one person will be in the car wreck with you. Talk to those people about what you want to happen or not happen so they can best carry out your wishes. Sign some kind of legally binding paperwork that cements them as the decision maker, especially if your first choice is not the default the state would choose (parent, spouse, sibling, adult child, etc). You can write whatever you want then to do on the paper, but the chosen person will have the right to override it if they think you would want them to. So sign the paper but don’t forget to TALK to them about it.
And good luck because while this will give you the best odds, the universe might also just decide to fuck you in particular anyway.
Find a physical activity you enjoy and do it at least three times a week. Either join an organized religion or specifically curate a group of people you do a weekly activity with who will come check on you if you suddenly stop showing up.
I managed to get both these with sport teams. (At least in my area), the local sports competitions are actively looking for players, and if you have skills or enjoy a role others don’t, you can even just volunteer (instead of pay fees) in a few teams before joining one you like. And one foot in the door will likely get you invited to other teams and competitions when someone’s team needs a substitute player (or you can just ask, “Does anyone have a team that play on Thursday nights?”).
In my favorite team, I became de-facto captain of because I showed up most reliably and was the remaining member of the original team as people left and joined. One week I forgot to tell them I would be away for the match due to travel, and the next day I wake up to a couple of check-in messages just to make sure I haven’t vanished or had a bookshelf fall on me. And it’s a reassuring feeling to realize you’re part of a community that cares about each other.
Older people (30+)
Cut out social media from your life completely. No, I swear to god, this is life changing advice not some boomer platitudes about how kids these days are always in their phones.
You don’t realize how much life you are missing by being completely stuck to your phone. I promise the world will continue to turn if you ignore your phone for a few hours at a time.
Quit Facebook, quit Instagram, quit X, quit TikTok. If you feel like you are bored and want to open the apps, try something else. Read a book, start a creative writing project, listen to music while meditating, play video games, do some woodworking, go for a walk or a hike with your dog, learn a new language, go out to the bar or club and socialize, go to the gym and work out, draw stuff from your imagination.
I promise promise promise you will feel better. Not right away, but very soon after you start doing these things instead of the vapid doomscrolling, shitposting, clout-chasing, self-aggrandizing social media spiral you will realize that you don’t need your phone. You are able to live your best life when you aren’t thinking about what’s being posted online or taking constant selfies or photographing every meal you eat.
Your future self will thank me.
Truth. Especially if someone suffers from anxiety: quitting social media will help immediately. They may jones for it for a few days, but the world is full of other things to do, and they’ll be so glad they did. Even if someone is forced to use it for work or business, the personal use of social media can be limited to exactly that.
Also, and it must be said, it’s much harder to become propagandized when you’re not allowing yourself to be exposed to a constant feed of it daily. When you find yourself emoting over something you’ve read, that’s usually a clue to step away. The world is full of horrible, saddening things, but we now have a bunch of oligarch techbros who want to use that to steer us via our own emotions, and that’s what social media excels at. If you’re feeling angry, if you’re feeling fearful, if you’re feeling hopeless about the world at large, social media is a very expensive short-term remedy. Get offline and occupy your body as well as your mind: you’ll be grateful you stopped it when you did.
Younger generations? Find your fucking way out of wild capitalism. You deserve to have a home, free time and mental health.
Everyone needs to do exercise with resistance (weights, bands, bodyweight). You will not get too muscular by accident. It will prevent aches and pains, it will prevent injuries, it will make it more likely you survive car accidents and false.
Everyone needs to floss, there are no exceptions.
Everyone needs time outside in nature. If you live in a city, get to a park every week, preferably every day. It changes our brain chemistry. We aren’t organized to live in boxes all day.
Learn how to breathe. If you think that sounds silly, you’re the example.
Learn to cook. When you can’t contribute anything else, being able to contribute food is universally accepted
The exercise bit is so important. I’m mid 40s recently started working out with weights again after about 6 years of being somewhat sedentary other than running/walking dogs. Almost instantly I had worked out some pain my shoulder had been giving me that had been preventing me from sleeping well, and I don’t grunt when getting up from a crouched position anymore. Also just feeling better and more capable all around.
Learn how to breathe
Any pointers or tutorials/videos that you’d recommend on this?
Is it about diaphragmatic breathing?
Or remembering to breathe calmly while exercising or doing things?In through the nose, out through the mouth. Your nose is the first step in ‘processing’ air for the lungs. It warms, moistens, and filters the cold, dry, and dirty air for you. You exhale with your mouth because it’s bigger than your nose, which minimizes resistance.
Learn to steady your breaths. Practice, and I mean practice, breathing on counts. That’s inhale for X seconds, hold the same amount, then exhale on the same count. Start at 4 seconds, work your way up. You’re focusing on an even breath, so don’t accelerate or decelerate and if your lungs filled up before you hit your count then try again, but slower.
Learn to breathe from the diaphragm, as you mentioned. Expanding your diaphragm gives your lungs more room to expand, thus increasing your lung capacity. Plus it’s always good to be engaging your core muscles in every little way you can.
Practice a cleansing breath. An incredible tool against anxiety and panic, you’re essentially storing a bank of calm for a rainy day. When you’re feeling fine, breathe on counts, but instead of pushing yourself you close your eyes and focus on how you feel while you’re breathing. Do that, daily. Build the association. Then, when you need to settle tf down, you can take that same breath and connect to that same feeling.
When you’re not talking or chewing, keep your jaw shut, teeth lightly touching (don’t clench it) and your tongue on the roof of your mouth
I’m nearly 40 and the world they are facing is so different to what I experienced that I don’t know if any advice I could give would even make sense.
Don’t suffer fools, I guess. Life is too short to put up with people who don’t, won’t or can’t respect you. You don’t have to make it a big deal, in fact that might be the wrong move if you’re dealing with a narcissist. Instead become uninteresting when interacting with them. The Grey Rock technique.
