Do you keep telling them they’re not fat? Do you decide to just support them as they try to lose weight?
What’s your opinion on this?
Depends on if they’re actually overweight, and how they’re handling it. If they’re wallowing in self pity or engaging in unhealthy behaviors that suggest an eating disorder, then I guess you approach the actual issue instead (i.e. the depression, the eating disorder). If they’re just trying to psych themselves up to exercise more or eat better to shed an excess 15 pounds then support and encourage them.
Have you ever heard the phrase “You can’t reason someone out of an opinion that they didn’t reason themselves into”? If they’re objectively not fat, than what they’re really saying is they feel like they’re fat, not they they think that they’re fat. That can be for a whole host of reasons, but arguing facts with them won’t help. Far better to have discussions with them about why they feel that way and why they’re focused on it. Ultimately it’s an issue they have to resolve themselves and not something you can convince them of.
I’ve lost about 55lbs over the past two years and still have 15-20lbs before I reach my goal weight. I was overweight.
I know my partner would still love me if I didn’t lose the weight, and was never bothered by my body the way I was. It’s not about what my partner thinks of me. It’s about what I think about myself, and frankly society. Society is kinder to me after losing weight, and I suspect I’ll be treated even better in the world once I hit my goal weight. People are so happy and proud of me (for essentially skipping meals.)
I don’t know how to convince someone to not crave the kindness and compliments now that I get them.
Once I’ve reached my weight goal, it might be difficult for me to stop trying to lose more. To see how far I can go. I really had to change my mindset to lose weight. It will be difficult to adjust or alter that mindset once I reach my goal weight. It will be a process to learn how to change my food behaviors and find the balance of not over eating or under eating.
This probably doesn’t answer your question.
In this context, I think “fat” means “fatter than I’d like to be” and isn’t an objective statement. If there’s no medical reason against it, I’d volunteer to make lighter meals and/or do active things like hiking or whatever we both like. If they’re a recovering anorexic or something, I’d probably try to talk them into seeing a professional.
