On dates, focus on whether you like them, not whether they like you.

I don’t have specific advice for girls, but for teens in general.

This is a tremendously formative time in your life. When you’re old, you’ll remember moments from this time the best. If you should - god forbid - ever go senile, this part of your life is likely to be the last part that you forget.

It’s both the hardest and the best time, and everyone goes through it. My caveat assumes you feel reasonably safe at home: your parents aren’t abusive, seem supportive, seem reasonably in control of their lives; if that’s true, keep in mind that:

Your parents went through this. Maybe not exactly the same circumstances, but they went through similar things. Similar feelings, urges, needs. They fell in love just as hard, had crushes just as hard, made just as embarrassing mistakes, had just as bitter enemies. They weren’t just younger versions of themselves today; they were almost different people. If you feel safe at home, ask them for advice like this, and take internet advice with skepticism. So far this thread seems benign, but as you know, the internet is full of idiots. If you can talk to your parents, do.

If you have a mother: it’s common for girls your age to be having strained relationships with your mom. She’s going to be the one you want to try to get advice from. She’s going to be able to actively help and support you. If you can at all talk to her, try. And remember: most of the embarrassing, private things you have going on, she had to work through them, too. The great thing is that, with your age, it’s more likely that they even experimented with their sexuality; assuming your parents were 80s/90s kids, it was starting to become normalized to experiment around then. You’ll have a pretty good idea about whether that is possible, knowing your parents.

One last thing on the parents: remember that it’s normal for people to go through a period where they are having trouble dealing with their parents. They still seem to treat you like a kid, when you are clearly practically an adult. They want to protect (restrict) you, when you want more freedom. You have your own opinions, and they may not always agree. They think you’re too young, and you think you’re too old. Friends are way more interesting than your parents, and that’s hard for them. Remember: it’s OK. Everyone lucky enough to have parents goes through this phase. Your parents are still probably the best support group you have. If it’s at all possible too talk to them, do. Over communicate. If they feel like they know what’s going on in your life, and the decisions you’re making, they’re more likely to relax and let you do the things you want. Even if you’re angry; no, especially when you’re angry. If you ever get into a long term romantic relationship, the ability to communicate while angry will be essential to keeping it healthy. Practice on your parents.

If you have great-grandparents still alive that you love, try to spend time with them. I wish I’d have spent more time asking my Nanna what it was like for her growing up; I didn’t care about history when I was young, and now I miss having the opportunity to learn from someone who was born so long ago. You can do the math, and time flies by faster than you think.

You’re laying the groundwork for the rest of your life, and this is the age when you really start having some control. It’s important to explore and have fun; the next 4 years are your last chance to really play. They’re the last years when you don’t have to worry about paying rent, paying bills, debt, scheduling your own doctor visits. My advice is to try to enjoy that, and don’t feel guilty about it. Put yourself into situations where you can lay down some good memories; like I said, they’re the ones that will be the most clear, for the longest.

You will meet many men in your life, and some of them are going to be wonderful. In fact, there will be men who are wonderful in ways you don’t even realize until much later.

But there are also entirely too many creeps, and unfortunately, you have to have some ugly experiences to really get a sense of who is and who isn’t a good guy. Especially watch out for older men, especially ones who flatter you and tell you how beautiful and mature you are. These guys are everywhere, and girls your age are their prime fixation. If you are careful and lucky, you can learn to spot them without becoming their victim, and without getting pregnant or married.

You’ve seen those nature shows where the baby sea turtles hatch on shore and have to make it to the water before the hungry birds devour them? You’re a little turtle now. Just focus on the water (your goals for your future,) and don’t let the bastards gobble you up.

Freeze your eggs by the age of 25

Fail fast and fail forward. Don’t be afraid to start, be afraid of looking back having never done anything. Regret is poison.

Learn what the pareto principle is and live by it. Be efficient.

When life gets hard focus on what’s in front of you not on the world, ideology, news, thats all distraction. Learn to stay in the moment, what’s right here, right now, infront of you.

Cherish loved ones. Focus on your health now. Your health can be gone at a moments notice, life is about balance. Every action has a reaction.

Focus on your strengths not your weaknesses. You have infinite weaknesses. Your strengths will be your lynchpin at times.

Always be curious. Don’t lose the will to learn and ask questions. Knowledge is everything.

Always stay moving physically. Stay doing something productive.

Listen to your gut during times of uncertainty. Trust very little of others. Words mean nothing. Actions never lie.