• lemmyknow@lemmy.today
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      7 days ago

      When you log into YouTube, a patented recog device does read your anus to confirm your identity. Its CCDs convert light into text-based codes, which represent your unique fingerprint of anal terrain.

      • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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        1 hour ago

        In an alternate universe you wedge your iScan device into your butt cheeks so it maintains constant positive biometric contact with you as your token for authentication.

        Your passcode plus biometric scan.