This question has bothered me quite a bit, and I’m seeking clarity for this specific question for several reasons:

  • My friend (same age/gender) is quite time constrained and can’t do long meetings, frequent meetings, or dedicate time on his end to commute
  • Because of so, I’m willing to tolerate commuting 2 hours one way (4 hours round trip) to his place - Why? Because I don’t enjoy online texting in the slightest and find it to be a waste of time, I value regular in person interaction the most, so that’s why I myself am willing to dedicate my own time to commute the entire length to his place.
  • The 2 hour one way commute limits the ability to do early and late meetings, due to sleep and meals, so figuring out what exactly is the shortest meeting length to justify a 4 hour round trip commute is key for me.
  • I have already asked a sibling of mine to articulate what he thinks (he’s happily car free and takes city transit everywhere), he tells me that he thinks a 0.5:1 ratio of meeting time to travel time is sufficent (i.e. base the shortest meeting on a 1 way commute, if a 1 way commute is 2hrs, then the shortest meeting is 2hrs). His advice means that for every minute I travel/commute, I would only get 30 seconds of meeting time. I’m still torn whether this ratio is worth it, so I want more input on this. I would value trying to do at least 1 in person meeting per calendar month with my friend, as we both live in the same city.

So what would be a good ratio of meeting time to round trip travel time? What’s the shortest meeting length duration that justifies a 4 hour round trip commute (2 hours one way)?

  • voracitude@lemmy.worldEnglish
    5·
    3 days ago

    Aside from this being an entirely personal question that nobody else can answer for you, I think it’s getting to see your friend that justifies the drive, not the amount of time you spend with them. I had a commute like this to see one of my buddies for a while; sometimes we’d spend as little as an hour, sometimes 8. The 4-hour round trip each time isn’t what I remember.

    • Delvin4519@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      3·
      3 days ago

      I should probably add some commuting context. The trip from my place to his place via city transit requires taking 5 different lines, 2 buses at either end, and 3 subways in the middle. Plus I need to carry my belongings in a heavy backpack the whole way too.

      So it goes like this: 8 min bus ride -> transfer -> 8 minute subway ride -> transfer to another subway -> 8 minute subway ride -> transfer to one more subway -> 8 minute subway ride -> transfer -> 45 minute bus ride.

      It’s quite the chore, so sometimes when I get to his place I’m a bit exhausted, yet I need to save some energy for the trip back home in reverse (there’s no other routes or means to get between our places).

      Like I said above, I don’t enjoy online texting and find it worthless and a waste of time to me, and as such in person interaction is what I cherish the most; so that’s why I am so hung up on the time ratio question. I’m willing to go to his place as my friend has very little time to commute himself.

      • voracitude@lemmy.worldEnglish
        3·
        3 days ago

        I don’t enjoy online texting and find it worthless and a waste of time to me, and as such in person interaction is what I cherish the most;

        Yeah, I didn’t miss that bit.

        so that’s why I am so hung up on the time ratio question

        This is still a non-sequitur for me. How’s this for a ruleset:

        • If some night you don’t have energy to go and don’t want to go, then don’t go;
        • if you do have energy and you don’t want to, don’t go;
        • if you don’t have energy and want to, figure it out at the time 🤷
        • If you have energy and want to go, go.

        What about alternatives like crashing at his place every once in a while?

        Just remember, this isn’t a negotiation - I’m not the one getting you there and back. I’m just trying to give you another way of looking at it in case that makes it easier to figure out.