My ex “K” just broke up with me. She said she would like to still be friends, though, and since the breakup was friendly, I gladly said I was fine with that.
I have had three serious relationships and I have lost contact with all of them.
None of the break ups were all that messy. In two of them we just grew bored of each other and the third one ended because I moved.
I never bothered to keep in touch with any of them or reach out to any of them. When it is over it is over.
I don’t see how I could downgrade the relationship to a “friends” level.
Yeah, I’m friends with 2, we were in a poly relationship and I quit. My mentall health was awful which was affecting my relationships with them, so I distanced away for like 2 years. Now we speak regularly, share some news and stories, they even wanna invite me to their wedding, I’m so happy for them🥹
It’s actually my entire friend group rn lol. One of my exes from high school has been my best friend for 10 years. I made up with my ex I dated during college after a super messy break-up and now we hang out and watch anime together. Recently, I had a very short term long distance fling with a guy I met on here, and we still chat about gaming and politics and shit on Discord multiple times a week.
I’ve definitely had messy and bad relationships that were just unsalvageable, but I really don’t like throwing people away after I’ve shared a bunch of my life with them. The only weird part is how many of my friends have seen me naked.
No, but I wouldn’t be opposed with any of them but one. That one can go fuck herself.
Ended a 16 year relationship a couple of months ago. No hard feelings, still friends. It’s easier that way :)
Yes. Most of my exes are people who I’d want to be friends with. I’m not friends with all of them of course, but I’m still friends with 3 of them. You take some time to heal, even if you part on good terms, and be respectful and yeah, you can hang out and genuinely be happy for them and they happy for you. One even came to my wedding (luckily my wife is not at all the jealous type).
One I would describe as more of an acquaintance. We have a really good mutual friend, but we pretty much only hang out in group settings. We get along well, but there’s not much binding us together.
Another is actually more like a brother at this point. We tried to be friends initially after the breakup, but we were both pretty immature and shitty about it at the time. I ended up cutting off contact and then reached out several months later after emotions had cooled down. We’re not as close as we used to be, but we care a lot about each other, and I do think he’ll always be like family to me.
You both need a time off, stop or make interactions really “rational and controlled”. It takes time to shift to different dynamic between you two.
Once you both (or at least one of you) get new partners, things will be more promising for a genuine friendship.
Otherwise, lingering feelings or “emotionally weak” days seriously risk ruining the relationship and make things permanently awkward.
source: my own experience. I am best friends with my ex. And lived the process myself.
Buddy I’m not friends with anyone - despite my best efforts.
Yeah, just one. He left me for religious reasons (we’re both men). Took me a long time to actually get over him, but I moved on and married and such. The three of us hang out sometimes.
I do kinda wish I could convince him to be a little less religiously wacky. Oh well.
I know so many people in the community in relationships with religious wackos. What’s going on there?
I cannot speak for others. My ex was not religious when I met him. I feel like my experience isn’t similar to what you’ve encountered.
not really anymore, but only for usually drifting apart from old friends reasons. it is hard (for me) to maintain friendships when the other party lives thousands of kilometers away, and everyone is too poor and busy to travel.
I have some exes that I wanted to and could be friends with (one I was for several years). But it just doesn’t fly with a new domestic partnership. I can tell my current girlfriend that I’m going to see female friends, but going out with friends who I’ve previously had sexual relations with is stretching it. I wouldn’t want my girlfriend to do that and so I won’t do it to her.
It makes me a bit sad, but I have effectively ended those friendships by no longer agreeing to seeing them.
I also have exes that I wouldn’t wish on my biggest enemy and I avoid them like the plague.
Im actually the kind to say when you break up move on. Still being friends is a recipe for many disasters. Especially once you’re in a long term or get married
Depends.
Some I cultivated afterwards - gave some space, and later pitched a “I don’t want to get back together but I miss hanging out. Lemme buy coffee” to usually good effect. If you’re compatible as friends still, it could be a very strong friendship. But you broke up for a reason, so keep that in mind.
But sometimes you’re really incompatible and a simple friendship isn’t even healthy for you two. That’s okay too.
No
