When I was younger, I always heard that “true gentleman” value and don’t fear commitment. I also heard a lot of girls I used to be friends with complain about how their ex-boyfriends didn’t like commitment and how they shouldn’t have dated in the first place then. Now that I’ve gone out into the dating world, I can confirm several of my breakups were caused by the person fearing commitment.
Some were just the person was an asshole, some were that they lost feelings mid-relationship, and if it wasn’t either two, they were just plain afraid of commitment. But what makes people afraid to commit? What are some of the reasons anyway, or your reasons if you fear or feared commitment?
My ex “C” said our relationship wasn’t “real” and didn’t mean anything, and that she liked me but wasn’t looking for a long-term commitment. She also essentially wanted to be FWB (friends with benefits) but later said she didn’t want to and we were just friends and that we never actually had a relationship.
I mean, in my own case, I’m such a bloody mess I couldn’t really recommend someone be in a long term relationship with me. Or nothing too deep, anyway. I’d feel like I’d drag them down. But all that aside, the biggest reason I can think of to be hesitant about commitment is that, in commiting, you will find yourself having to give up control of your life at times and making comprises for the other person’s sake. Where as if you are non-comittant, you will have more autonomy to lead your life how you wish.