OCR:
I can not express to you how often i think about this craigslist ad
You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that’s hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on? Well look no further.
The 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Let’s talk about features. Bluetooth: nope Sunroof: nope Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope…but it’s got a transparent rear window and you have a fucking neck that can turn.
Let me tell you a story. One day my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn’t give a shit and ignored it. It went away. The End.
You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fll the gas tank up with Nutella, tum the key, and this puppy would fucking start right up.
This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.
Things this car is old enough to do: Vote: yes Consent to sex: yes Rent a car: it IS a car
This car’s got history. It’s seen some shit. People have done straight things in this car. People have done gay things in this car. this car is not going to judge you like a fucking Volkswagen would.
The car’s exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.
In the owner’s manual, oil is listed as “optional.”
When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla”
This car is as practical as a Roth IRA. It’s as middle-of-the-road as your grandpa during his last Silver Alert, It’s as utilitarian as a member of a church whose scripture is based entirely on water bills.
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said, “It’s a Corolla. It’s fine.
Lets face the facts, this car isn’t going to win any beauty contests, but neither are you. Stop lying to yourself and stop lying to your wife. This isn’t the car you want, it’s the car you deserve: The fucking 1999 Toyota Corolla.
Accurate.
Source: I had one too. It eventually died when my mechanic told me: “that fucking fucker’s fucking fucked alright”. His boss translated that into “the repairs would cost more than the car is worth”.
Indeed. I had one too. It was rearended and we put another 30k miles on it with a smashed trunk. I sold it to family who beat on it another couple of years. They gave it back to me when it started making noises and they were too lazy to junk it.
I realized it just needed brakes and a new rear wheel bearing and some freon in the AC. Decided to spend an hour or two and fixed it and sold it with 230k miles on the clock to a kid learning to drive.
I totally understand that cars can reach a point where they are beyond saving, but these days I would happily spend $1000 to repair a vehicle that’s worth the same. As long as you can render it reliable it is far better than spending money on anything new. And if I had to replace it, it’d be with something older anyways.
Not only that, a car that old isn’t spying on you to sell the data like all the newer cars do
I’ve spent about $500 repairing a 2001 Toyota sequoia. It sat not being used for about 8 years. I saw paper work for a failed emission test in 2019. New starter, battery, a new coolant hose, serpentine belt, some other small bullshit, and now it needs new knock sensors. It runs, just badly. This thing has 265k miles and taken us through so many trips and family vacations. I want another 100k out of it. Interior is almost done, but
In Australia at least, $2000 seems to be the floor for a car that will get you to work and back. I mean if the repairs for the car are $2000, the next car you buy will need to cost at least that much anyway and there’s no guarantee that it will last any longer
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probably a case of rare replacement parts, it is not everyday that a toyota corolla gets cannibalised for parts