My IT department puts anything capable of storing data into a chipper when its time has come. The guys who load the trucks will throw laptops like frisbees into the steel cage that they lock the devices in between the office and the shredder.
They probably wouldn’t care if you gave your laptop a tattoo or even a piercing.
“We have poor customer data safeguards, confidently present subpar work as acceptable, and have failed to adequately train our intended users but would like you to believe it’s all the users fault.”