Look, communicating awkwardly doesn’t make you a horrible person. I think part of it is you have a confidence problem. It sounds like you always cowtow to your coworkers’ reactions, even going so far as apologizing when you haven’t objectively done anything wrong (your responses don’t seem that weird, but maybe it is the way you say things). It seems odd to me that anyone would be offended by an offer to go home early, unless you’re making it seem like you specifically don’t want them to be around.

At the end of the day, your coworkers are just people with their own issues and imperfections. They are probably not experts at communication either, so don’t treat them as such. I would not take any social cues from coworker 1.

You may not be able to change the dynamic at work, so my advice is to find a way to socialize outside of work (with people who actually like & respect you!). That way you won’t have to rely on your workplace for those needs.

How is that post borderline insane? It’s a lot of unnecessary detail, but outgrowing your high school mates is a pretty common thing that people sometimes don’t know how to handle.

I understand where you’re coming from, completely. It definitely feels like being silenced (again, because let’s face it, this shit is mentally throwing us right back into childhood when our needs and feelings were ignored). I understand that desperate feeling of needing to be heard. But we’re adults now, and the people at work aren’t your parents. There’s nothing obligating them to listen. Even my spouse needs time where I’m not ranting about politics. An hour a day is all he can do right now, and this is someone who cares about how I feel. But this isn’t a rejection of my feelings.

One thing I’ve personally had to realize is that the stuff about politics isn’t actually you. You have to find a way to have a degree of separation between the political and your actual core. I know it looks like they’re the same thing right now. But think about what you really want to accomplish, think about what kind of culture you want to create at work. Do you want everyone to be as upset as you are? Would that make a good working environment? If you want others to be more compassionate, I think coming from a place of compassion yourself might work better. Right now it sounds like you’re treating people in ways you probably wouldn’t want others treating you. You can still be true to yourself, your ideals, and values without being quite so forceful. For some reason beyond my immediate comprehension, demonstrating the intensity of your feelings doesn’t translate into people caring - it’s rather the opposite.

This was a really hard lesson for me and took a few weeks to fully understand and think through. I hope you have someone likeminded in your life you can talk to outside of work. If you don’t, please consider trying to find a new friend. You need someone who already understands, who you don’t need to convince, to blow off steam with. Good luck.