I don’t bother. I know they know everything about me already, and that I’m not an important person. As such, I wonder why it matters.

You are doing it wrong! You need to include rat brain somewhere in there for the AI to be sentient. It needs real flesh. Tsk, so uncreative.

They are entitled and don’t want to expend effort

Who volunteers to fix it?

Nah, I prefer using quantum spookiness for that. Send a steady stream of entangled particles to the other person on the moon first. Any time you do something to the particles on Earth, the ones on the Moon are affected also. The catch is that this disentangles them, so you have only a few limited uses. This is why you want a constant stream of them being entangled.

Do I sense a fellow collapsnic here? Ah, exiled brother!

They will be happy with no teachers, oblivious to how much wrong they are being taught before it’s too late.

Finally someone who thinks the same!