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Joined 3 years ago
Cake day: August 3rd, 2023









  • I’m not sure if they’re the same thing, but back in my day we had a “School Counselor”. I told her all about how my mom was abusing us, which backfired on me when she straight up told my mom everything I had said.

    Hopefully it’s changed on the last couple decades, but back then school counselors weren’t required to have any accreditations and had no restriction on privacy.

    That was when I learned the employees of the school are there to protect the school, not the students. You should be careful what you share until you’ve determined what sort of confidentiality you’re guaranteed and what training this person has. Outing you or requiring you to out yourself are both pretty messed up to recommend.




I need to start making plans for when I am gone, much sooner than I thought, and I realized our finances are pretty opaque to my spouse. Our bank account is shared, but there are other sites that only I have access to.

The easiest solution would be to physically write down logins and what needs done, put it in an envelope, and tell my family where that envelope is. I’m not thrilled about that, because I would have to shred and rewrite it every time I update a password or a URL changes, and it’d be vulnerable to nosy guests.

Putting it in a shared Google Doc would be easiest for everyone. But then Google has that data. Even supposing I trust a cloud SaaS provider not to misuse the data (which is a big ‘if’) I do not trust them to never have a data breach.

Self-hosting seems like the next step, except I expect my home server to be the first thing to collapse once I’m gone. Filing login info with an estate attorney would still require frequent updates. Putting a document on a flash drive risks data loss, but is what I’m leaning towards.

Is there a solution I’m missing?





  • That’s how I view it too. If you can consume something without financing further harm then the author doesn’t matter. Already own a Niel Gaiman book? Feel free to keep reading it. Pirated some metal music from a band that turned out to be neo-nazis? Go for it. Want to read Lovecraft? He’s long dead and his estate doesn’t seem to be supporting racism, so buy as much as you want. Want to check out Mein Kampf from the library? I will have questions when you return it, but you aren’t hurting anyone by reading it. Just understand the mindset that made them bad people and don’t let them sway your outlook to match.




  • Exactly. I was in the same boat as OP because my GPA was trash. I probably missed some opportunities because of it when trying to land my first job. But after I got one in my field, I was never asked for my GPA again, or even evidence that I went to college. Employers only want to know what you did in your last job, and only default to grades or diplomas if you have no relevant work history.