Maybe he’ll get bored with retirement, have a mid-no-life crisis and the resulting breakdown will generate some interesting news stories.

Quick, blame some missing dead guy for it.

And your hair will grow back like it used to.

I think I know the suspect.

Oops, accidentally deleted my DNA instead and now I’m melting.

I don’t plan on adding that to my camping kit any time soon but it’s a recipe passed down through the ages. Got it straight from a well-known cookbook that I studied religiously through my teenage years.

That’s why you add a thickener. Mix some styrofoam into the gasoline and it’ll stick better.

And they keep their wives’ vaginas just as dry as he does.

It’s for those times when a full glove would be too formal. Casual Fridays at the doctor’s office, that sort of thing.