I’ve realized I’m a very atypical person: talking to coworkers in my age range today I realized they have a better financial situation than mine: they are married, some with children, own their own condos, houses, or are paying a mortgage, but can still live a normal life, own a car, some even have the luxury of not having to work 40 hours a week, but 32 because they don’t need to work more, house already paid, family and life objectives achieved.

Me: I’m 43, I don’t own but rent, meaning I pay for something I’m never going to own. The last 2 years I’ve been saving like crazy because I’m afraid of not having enough money for retirement, and because in my past I did so much stupid shit, meaning I wasted so many years not doing anything of use.

I have around 100K in the bank, I know I should invest but I’m also scared of losing that money and I don’t know if I should use that money as a down payment for a house.

My father owns 3 houses and I envy him. I’ve been thinking about asking him to sell one of the houses and give me the proceeds so I can buy my own place because some of my coworkers did that and could finance their own home. When my father went to study to another state my grandfather bought him a house there so he wouldn’t have to rent. When he moved back to home state he sold and invested the money to buy a new house there. He had way easier than me. It’s not fair. I feel… unloved?

I guess this makes me an entitled ass but I feel so… lost?

To summarize, I feel like a loser because I’m old, I’m behind most of my coworkers my age, I’m a very individualistic person but this means I’m going to die alone, but sometimes I feel alone and scared of being old and alone. I don’t own anything of value to my name, it’s like I’m an old teenager.

I mean, is this normal?

One complained about me to our superior and I was moved to a position elsewhere within the same company. She now sees me and greets me like nothing happened, which strikes me as very odd. 9 months after I was moved she was moved to a different department as well.

The other is a gossip, badmouthed me constantly, lazied around and now, each time she sees me, she greets me effusively, as if we were best friends. WTF?

I simply don’t understand why people (women?) do this.

Has this happened to you before?

Other than ignoring and gray rock them I don’t know what else to do.

But what in the actual heck are they thinking?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/36712344

there is somebody really annoying I have to see most days who doesn’t know what boundaries are: always physically too close, always asking prying questions.

because at this point I have nothing to lose, next time he starts his spiel I’m going to start doing really ridiculous stuff, so maybe now he starts avoiding me. Think of:

answering his questions, but only using the syllable la, like lalala lalalalala lalalalalalala… pointing fingers and opening and closing my eyes.

gesticulating and waving my arms like I was possessed by the demon while barking like a dog.

describing in great detail how I like to have sex with several kinds of animals.

problem is, I laugh very easily when I do silly stuff like this and if I burst out laughing while doing it to him, he will think I was doing it to amuse him and keep approaching me.

so, how do I train not to laugh while doing really silly stuff?

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/31908534

if guns are not an option, how can I die fast and painlessly?

I was thinking lorazepam overdose (like 50 grams) or combining several benzodiazepines

maybe barbiturates?

rat poison?

what about injecting 40 ml of air in a jugular vein? (I don’t see how I could pull that one on my own)