Yeah, its fucking absurd. Closest option is probably a fairphone right now. They allow a bunch of degoglified options of android and a few linux options too.

My mobile OS of choice is currently Lineageos for Microg. Makes all my apps work and protects me from google as good as possible.

You don’t need to log in to google for any of what you listed to work with google play services.

You do know that Firefox is essentially Netscape rebooted, right?

Also I don’t really know what you are trying to say here. Netscape was definitely a better option than Internet Explorer.