This is good advice. Ignore your reptilian hind brain and act like the person you want to be.

Yeah, sometimes you’ll need to stop and think about your options before making a decision, but you’ll be better for it.

Hey, thanks for taking the time to respond. I’m enjoying this because it gives me a chance to understand my own beliefs. And it’s fun to spout off.

Some people believe I shouldn’t speak and should only work all day, while others seem to prefer to chat once in a while. For me, it’s difficult for me to know the most correct way to act in terms of these two philosophies.

There’s no correct answer here. You’ve expressed a preference for chatting, so let’s support that.

We have different [beliefs] and usually that’s perfectly ok and I we don’t really argue or anything. But sometimes I still do it wrong or say something with too much emotion in my voice or something.

Occasional or friendly disagreement is fine, so long as it doesn’t poison the relationship.

Could you pause before replying to sort out your feelings? If you’re concerned that you have too much emotion in your voice, that could give you time to notice your emotional state and dial it down. You could even turn the disagreement into more of a joke or quip rather than something heartfelt.

You can use your pause as part of the conversation. Give a thoughtful “huh” or maybe start with a throw away phrase of “I hadn’t thought about that” and then pause.

Some people are in a hurry to say their piece - they really wanna get their thought or idea in. In my experience, it’s helpful not to do that. It’s difficult though.

Delicious scented shampoo flavour!

I try to pick the most popular one. Posting to all just reinforces the fragmentation and spams anyone reading all our subscribed to all of them.

Lemmy’s overlapping communities are a pain in the butt.

This is a well written call to action: bullet points, concise headings, simple language, links to examples and reasoning.

It beats the usual manifestos that get posted.

I had considered coworker 3 to be my friend a bit tbh. But that is not supposed to be the case, right? We are not supposed to be friends or anything. I am supposed to find friends elsewhere and not think of them that way, right?

I can’t tell if this is sarcastic or genuine.

If it’s genuine: congrats on finding a new friend. Don’t cut them off because an internet rando said something.

If it’s sarcastic: it’s inappropriate to react to advice that you solicited in that manner. Since I’m being honest, it’s more appropriate to honestly state where you disagree, and why the advice doesn’t work for you. That way I can better understand your situation.

Coworker 2: Yeah, running a 10 minute mile is easy. Anyone can do it. …

If someone is full of shit at work, I’d just nod and smile. Unless there’s something to be gained by calling them out, I’d just note that they are uninformed on that topic and move on.

If people want to discuss serious topics with me then I’m just not supposed to contribute, right??

Again, I’m not sure if this is sarcastic or genuine. The two question marks, and the “right” make me think it’s sarcastic, but I could be wrong.

Either way: talk about what you want. However, if you want to keep things civil with your coworkers, it’s easier if you avoid divisive topics.

• Keep conversation away from your beliefs until you know where the other person stands.

• Ask questions. People like talking about themselves, so that’s an easy way to keep things moving.

• Make noncommittal statements.

I think you might be pretty close to the answer here: small talk. Conversation about stuff that isn’t going to make anyone uncomfortable. People at work aren’t friends, but you’re stuck spending lots of time with them, so try to find topics you’re all happy discussing.

So:

speech that shows mental weakness (esp anxiety)

It depends how you phrase this. Generally, admitting weakness isn’t something I’d do around coworkers, unless you’re putting limits on what you’ll do (“I don’t like closing up, I’d prefer not to”) or looking for help (“I want to get better at X, can you tell me how?”). But that depends on the person.

statements that are too negative

Yeah. At work, be positive or don’t go into the topic. If you think a coworker dislikes a thing and you want to bond over hating it, don’t go first, get them to show you how far they’re willing to go, then don’t go further.

making a workplace error

I dunno what to say about this. Ask for help at getting better? Apologize for screwing up? Otherwise I wouldn’t mention it again.

mentioning my dad

Again, keep conversation positive and light. If you’re bitching about your dad, don’t. If you’re saying what a great guy he is and they still get uncomfortable, just avoid the topic.

talking about coworker 1 too much in a negative way

Don’t do this. In the best case scenario, you bond over hating a coworker. In the worst case, the workplace becomes toxic. Accept that you’re stuck dealing with coworker 1 and move on. At most, acknowledge that coworker 1 can be difficult, but move on.

So. Smalltalk. Find stuff to talk about that nobody is gonna have strong negative reactions to: TV, streamers, sports, weather, traffic/transit, local events, weekend activities, happy family events. Avoid stuff that people have strong negative reactions to: politics, religion, painful topics, suffering, etc.

That is a lot of text. But the bit that jumped out at me was:

But if you need a tool to communicate privately with your friends and family–even if your chats are boring, mundane, and totally legal–Signal is the best damn choice I can recommend.

And I trust them, because they bedazzled their essay with lots of furry art. Like an excessive amount. So they either know what they’re talking about or it’s a mid-effort psyop.

WikiTree is popular in my circles. I’m not sure if there’s a significant difference from Family Echo.

What is Family Echo? Why is it better than other free genealogy databases?

It sounds like you’re talking about getting an expert to gut check a story. That’s a great idea.

Seems relevant:

I’m not sure I’d call it journalism though. Journalism itself often includes: (some) internal fact checking, legal review (cause it’s easy to accidentally say something defamatory), legal defense (because jerks will sue you anyway), editing, and research support.

Are these cables just for use by Meta properties, or will they sell access to other orgs?

Apparently Google (or maybe Alphabet?) also has a bunch of undersea cables. It looks like those are for just by Google Cloud customers (and presumably) Google itself.

It clearly isn’t open source, but on Pixel devices, swiping up to the switcher, and then tapping the image is enough to open Lens and get the URL.

Seems like a pretty huge opportunity for Reddit. If the article mentioned it, I missed it.

I’m surprised they aren’t talking about subscriber subreddits. With the amount of porn/OnlyFans posts, I would have thought they could position Reddit as a friendly and familiar OF alternative.

I don’t think any comments in this thread have referred to Nazis or fascism, other than yours. Nobody here is disagreeing that those things are bad.

I used your comment as an illustration that Lemmy has a tiny Overton window: when anyone comments outside the window, they’re smacked down. Instead of asking the original commenter for clarification, your comment suggested they want Nazis on the platform. That was a good illustration of my point.

Your comments in this thread only make sense if you assume the worst about other Lemmites. Please don’t do that. If there’s ambiguity, there’s no need to assume we’re douche wagons. Maybe ask for clarification. Make a friendly joke? I dunno.

So you are saying Lemmy can’t compete because we don’t have enough Nazis?

I’m saying that comments outside of a very narrow world view on Lemmy are greeted with hostility. Like the comment I’m replying to.

This covers lots of different areas. I get downvotes and snarky comments when I say I like the wrong Lemmy client or browser. When I ask about suggestions for a ttrpg, I get a snarky comment saying I’m asking questions wrong. When the leader of the Canadian Conservative party comes up in conversation, saying he does anything effectively is met with snark and downvotes - not that he’s good, but that he’s effective at something.

I understand this is a shitty time in US politics. I don’t like the outcome either - Trump is gonna make my life worse, and I don’t live in the US. But look at your comments on this thread: they’re hostile towards people that probably agree with you. This kind of rage makes the platform unwelcoming and shitty.

Don’t the metal bits rust? Like the screws or pins that hold them together?

You’ve blown my mind, btw.

Do you just wear them in? Kinda leave them on all the time, and just let the soap and shampoo do its job?

Running Sync for Lemmy against sh.itjust.works gives me an almost identical experience to Reddit.

Except for the content. Lemmy doesn’t have enough people posting and has an exceedingly narrow Overton window (for example).

I want Lemmy to succeed, but we really need to retain users.