Many apps like Find My allow us to follow our loved ones at all times. But just because we can, does it mean we should?
  • besselj@lemmy.caEnglish
    9 months

    Safety concerns aside, you should trust your partner enough to not need to track them

    • John Richard@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      If a partner demand they have it on to prove they’re not cheating, then they should be looking for a different partner.

    • Psythik@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      Exactly. My girlfriend will disappear for an entire day and not come home until 10pm. I usually have no idea where she is or what she’s doing (mainly because I forget due to having ADHD), but I don’t worry about it because I know she’ll never cheat. How can a person even be with someone who they don’t trust? Without trust, there is no relationship IMO.

  • detren@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    9 months

    My girlfriend and I share our locations mainly for convenience and safety. It’s nice to know that she’s 3 tram stops away from home so I can start cooking dinner for example. She’s also terrible at responding to texts and calls though lol

    • sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      9 months

      She could text you, no? It seems like getting her to be better at that is better than opening the can of worms involved with location sharing. For example, here’s some bad stuff that could happen:

      • phone sells that data to advertisers
      • gov’t gets that info and you trigger an alarm (maybe you went hiking a little too close to a sensitive area)
      • data breach happens and now crooks know when you’re not home
      • SO’s creepy friend sees your location and is secretly stalking you

      Etc. Those probably aren’t super likely, but being able to avoid it all entirely with a little better communication sounds a lot better.

    • slaacaa@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      Same with my wife. I even have it set up for my mother, so I know she’s safe. I don’t understand what the big deal is, as you say it’s a safety and convenience feature, it doesn’t mean you spend the day looking at the app to see where the other person is.

      It’s not something I would do in a casual or new relationship, but if I’m with somebody for years, I value their safety over my (perceived) privacy.

      And for the people who think this would prevent or bust cheating: lol. They can just turn it off and complain of bad reception, or leave their phone in their car, while they “shop at the mall”. Or just get a second phone. This app is not a substitute for trust

      Regarding tech privacy: it’s not like other apps on your phone are not already tracking, I doubt anybody has their GPS constantly turned off. They already know your location, this one feature doesn’t make a difference.

      • Count042@lemmy.mlEnglish
        9 months

        For one, it wrecks your battery life.

        Secondly, everyone I know my age keeps GPS off unless using a mapping program.

        Finally regarding app privacy, people do care about that which is why grapheneos and other privacy focused OS’s exist.

        The fact that you don’t care about privacy and want the government and corporations to have every sext you’ve ever received or sent doesn’t mean that others don’t care as well.

        • cole@lemdro.idEnglish
          9 months

          Google map’s location sharing does not even impact battery life.

  • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zipEnglish
    9 months

    If this was demanded of me, I would end the relationship immediately. That’s absolutely not worth it.

    • SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      9 months

      And what if you broke your leg and were lying in a ditch while chipmunks were eating your spleen, eh? How would anyone ever find you huh? Bet the egg is really on your face now!

      • shortwavesurfer@lemmy.zipEnglish
        9 months

        Well then that’s just too bad for me, isn’t it?

        Obviously I have my phone on me so I could just dial 911. If your phone breaks when whatever occurs to you, then your spouse or whatever isn’t going to be able to track your location and you’re not going to be able to call 911 either. So either way you’re fucked.

  • Digitalprimate@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    Man I took my kids off location sharing when they got their first phones at 12. Shit is creepy.

    Just communicate!

  • smiletolerantly@awful.systemsEnglish
    9 months

    When we need to know each others location, we share it via element / matrix. Our own server, so no third party.

    Happens maybe four times a year.

    (Also, do you just always have location services enabled?? IMO it’s a battery drain, I pretty much only enable it for this and while I need to navigate)

  • grue@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    The main reason my wife and I don’t have location sharing set up isn’t because of trust or lack thereof between each other, but because I don’t trust proprietary/commercial location-sharing services.

    I’ve been meaning to set up a self-hosted system (mainly because it seems like Home Assistant could do some neat automations with that info), but haven’t gotten around to it yet.

    • Manalith@midwest.socialEnglish
      9 months

      One of my gf’s friends went through a pretty nasty breakup, moved and whatnot and most of her friend group were trying to make sure that the ex and his friends didn’t have their location anymore and I’m just sitting here like “its wild that you have to go through that” well a couple weeks later 3 of her tires were stabbed with a screw driver or something, and while there’s no concrete evidence that they learned where she moved, I’m still over here trying to get them all to be more conscious about online privacy and location sharing, but nothing works…

  • Fondots@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    My wife and I work different schedules. on the rare day off that were both home, she’s often out of the house when I wake up. She’s not great at replying to texts. I never know when she’s going to be home, and usually have no clue what she’s out doing or where.

    But I know who she’s doing while she’s gone- no one. Because I trust my wife. I know who she is as a person, I know what our relationship is like.

    I have no particular desire to know her location at all times. I’m sure if I asked, she’d share it with me, and I’d do the same for her. I might occasionally do that when I’m off hiking or something in case there’s an emergency, but half the time I wouldn’t have a signal anyway.

    We are two humans with our own lives. Those lives are very intertwined, but we’re both allowed to go off and have our own adventures, occasionally some secrets, and we don’t need to know where each other is 24/7

  • NoiseColor @lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    I don’t know, it’s a pointless thing that I just forgot to turn off at some point. I couldn’t care less if she knows where I am and sometimes I do what her to know, like when I go hiking alone.

    • Dozzi92@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      I have my mom’s location, and it’s good because she just turned 64 (I think) five minutes ago, I need to wish her a happy birthday, appreciate the reminder. But when she travels out alone, sometimes it’s nice to know she got back to her hotel without having to bother her about it, so we do the sharing thing. And for hiking alone, sharing your location with someone beforehand just seems like a good idea.

      This article is dumb. Location sharing is silly. People will abuse it, and those same people would’ve found some other way to abuse the trust in their relationships anyway. I had girlfriends as a kid who’d demand calls when I was at a party they weren’t at. Dealing with a lack of trust in a relationship is a growing pain.

    • then_three_more@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      Are you happy with the company that makes the app and the 71960 partner companies with “legitimate interest” knowing where you are all the time too?

      • NoiseColor @lemmy.worldEnglish
        9 months

        I don’t know why I hadn’t thought about it. For sure I don’t. I hoped that it was secure in some way. Yeah that’s kind of really bad lol

  • Auth@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    “safety is certainly a big part of the appeal for many users – so I allow the app to alert him each time I reach my front door.” I’m finding that people are irrationally paranoid these days. They see random acts of violence in the news and think it might happen to them but its so statistically unlikely given these are already unlikely events and these people usually middle class people living in nice areas.

    • 0x0@lemmy.zipEnglish
      9 months

      They see random acts of violence in the news

      Which is the only thing the news shows them to begin with… almost as if they cherry-pick stuff.

    • Tanoh@lemmy.worldEnglish
      9 months

      Humans are awful at accessing risk and chance, one of the reasons casinos and lotteries thrive.

      Look at fear of flying for an example, all statistics say you are many many many times over more likely to get into a car accident on your way to the airport, than during the flight. Even when the ride to the airport is usually short and the flight very long. Yet people are afraid of flying, but not going by car. By percentage, there are of course those, rightly so, afraid of cars as well.

      • Yondoza@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
        9 months

        Risk assessment is probability and severity. The probability can be vanishingly low, but if the severity is astoundingly high then acting like a high risk situation could be appropriate.

        Take asteroids. The last planet killer to hit us was 94million years ago. A rudimentary estimate could put the probably as 1:94mil. The severity of an asteroid impact of that magnitude is off the charts, so it is reasonable to consider it a risk and act accordingly to spend resources to search for and track asteroid trajectories.

        The severity of abduction, murder, and rape is probably pretty high for most people, so considering it a risk even with a very small probability is not unreasonable.

        • yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.deEnglish
          9 months

          Location sharing doesn’t prevent any of that though?

          Like, no criminal who would want to rape/murder/abduct you knows whether you are sharing your location with anyone. They would do so regardless before anyone can arrive to help you.

          Also, no kidnapper on this planet is stupid enough to take your phone with them. You have a slightly higher chance for authorities to be alerted sooner but that’s about it.

          • Yondoza@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
            9 months

            Oh yeah, location sharing will have almost no effect those risks. Totally agree.

            Just disagreeing that

  • pyre@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    if you believe the only reason your partner isn’t cheating is that you’d find out via location share; what the fuck is the point?

  • TheHiddenCatboy@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    My wife and I have location sharing enabled in case something happens to one of us. We usually don’t use it, but its good to have when we need to meet up at an unfamiliar place after something goes sideways for one of us.

    But if your SO doesn’t trust you enough to allow you private moments and would accuse you of cheating, your relationship isn’t based on trust and thus is very weak.

  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.worldEnglish
    9 months

    My wife and I have had our location shared with each other for years, but it’s not a “Are they cheating?” thing. I have been married for 14 years and never wonder if my wife is cheating on me. It’s just incredibly useful for seeing how far away one of us is from home to do things like plan dinner prep times, know where to look for a lost phone, etc. If you can’t trust your SO, there is something wrong that you need to address and micro-managing where they are is toxic.

    Also, do yourself a favor use something open source and/or self hosted. Home Assistant, for example, has the ability to track location data for iOS and Android devices and pin that location to a map. Don’t give your location data to corporations to be used for data mining.

    Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup: If you’re always prepping your heart and mind for a split, you’ll always have one foot out the door. Not everyone will agree with me, but that’s how I feel and it’s why I don’t have one. Find yourself someone who is ride or die, if you are looking for a lifetime partner. Don’t settle for someone you can’t trust with your life.

    That said, not everyone is looking for monogamy for the rest of their life, either, and that’s OK, too.

    • expr@programming.devEnglish
      9 months

      This is like, the opposite of old-fashioned. Calling your wife when you’re on the way home is old-fashioned.

      This article is the first time I’m actually hearing about this idea because it never even occurred to me as something people would actually want to do. I frankly don’t see the point of this nonsense. I would much rather talk to my wife on the phone and communicate with her about plans. It’s much more human and normal, and facilitates good communication habits. It takes 2 minutes to give my wife a call and, you know what, I get to talk to my wife! We don’t need technology invading absolutely every aspect of our lives. We don’t need to be constantly plugged in and attached to our phones at the hip.

      It also has other downsides, like making it hard to surprise your partner, constant battery drain from the constant location chatter, etc. In fact, it seems like all downside with no actual benefit (setting aside the trust stuff, because it’s pretty irrelevant either way).

    • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
      9 months

      Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup

      I don’t agree. Prenups are passive, they don’t do anything until not needed. all the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust.

      • lucidinferno@lemmy.worldEnglish
        9 months

        Legally and practically, prenups are anything but passive. They’re proactive tools. They’re usually dormant, but they’re ready to be called into action.

        Marriage is different things to different people. Some have every intention to make it work, no matter what. To them, a prenup is an anti-“burn the ship”. It’s a statement.

        Also, tools like “find my” are not major breaches of privacy if both parties jointly agree to use them. For me and my family, it’s the ultimate expression of trust. I’m never somewhere I shouldn’t be, and I like my family knowing where I am, for a multitude of reasons.

        There are two types of people who a tracker wouldn’t be effective for: those who are in an inappropriate location, and those who are constantly questioning why someone is in an innocent place, regardless of where it may be. However, at that point, the issue isn’t the trackers; it’s the people.

        • Count042@lemmy.mlEnglish
          9 months

          This comment is just ‘what do you have to worry about it you’re not doing anything wrong’ with extra words.

  • EnsignWashout@startrek.websiteEnglish
    9 months

    My partner and I used to use location sharing pretty much 100% of the time. We just felt better knowing we could find each other.

    But today, we do not, because the trust is shattered.

    Google just cannot be trusted with our locations.