A good mindset is “How can I pleasure my partner more”. A bad mindset, and what you are describing, is “Why won’t my partner orgasm the way I want to”.
If you want to actually read and understand there is a big difference between “I want them to cum the way I want them to cum” and “what can I do to better interface with my partner”, cool.
If you just want to keep trying to rephrase things until people pat you on the head for expressing the kind of mindset said stand-up was ridiculing? I mean… you do you. Possibly with a vibrator.
I’m not sure why you’re getting angry about this. If you’re correct, then my disagreement comes from a misunderstanding of what you’re saying. I’m not trying to be an asshole, in fact I hope I’ve come off respectfully to you. I know it’s upsetting that I seem to hold a belief that you believe is harmful, but I am at least trying to be respectful and come to a consensus. I like to talk to people with different opinions, not so that I can prove my correctness over them (I already intrinsically believe my own correctness by virtue of believing it), but so that I can change my opinion if I am wrong. I really don’t want to be upsetting or antagonistic to you. I want to learn, understand, and grow. I am not trying to rephrase things and receive headpats, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to believe I’m commenting in good faith or not.
With that out of the way, I do not believe I am expressing the mindset the standup is ridiculing. I believe the comedian is ridiculing someone who gets mad or threatened over their partner orgasming with a vibrator. I also dislike and condemn this behavior. I am only trying to provide a shade of subtlety to the ongoing social discussion on this issue by saying that the sexual desire in itself to bring one’s partner to orgasm without a vibrator is not a shameful or condemnable belief to hold. I had thought you and I were in total agreement, in fact, until you said that the desire itself should be condemned. Perhaps you misunderstood what I meant by “the wishing itself”. But if not, then there’s a much more interesting discussion to have that could touch on a lot of cool subtleties about the issue, and we might both enjoy thinking about it.
Once again I’m sorry for having been frustrating. At the very least let me reaffirm as plainly as possible: someone being angry, bitter, jealous, or hurt by their partner not orgasming in the way they want, is exhibiting a harmful sexual mentality that should be changed. I hope our agreement on that front allows you to mark me off your “one of those assholes who is mad about the vibrator” list. ┐(´ー｀)┌
![[Jenny Gorelick] Co-Stars](https://lemmy.dbzer0.com/pictrs/image/82526c18-e403-4b8c-86fd-80996e8e7229.webp){kind=link}
If you want to actually read and understand there is a big difference between “I want them to cum the way I want them to cum” and “what can I do to better interface with my partner”, cool.
If you just want to keep trying to rephrase things until people pat you on the head for expressing the kind of mindset said stand-up was ridiculing? I mean… you do you. Possibly with a vibrator.
I’m not sure why you’re getting angry about this. If you’re correct, then my disagreement comes from a misunderstanding of what you’re saying. I’m not trying to be an asshole, in fact I hope I’ve come off respectfully to you. I know it’s upsetting that I seem to hold a belief that you believe is harmful, but I am at least trying to be respectful and come to a consensus. I like to talk to people with different opinions, not so that I can prove my correctness over them (I already intrinsically believe my own correctness by virtue of believing it), but so that I can change my opinion if I am wrong. I really don’t want to be upsetting or antagonistic to you. I want to learn, understand, and grow. I am not trying to rephrase things and receive headpats, but it’s up to you to decide if you want to believe I’m commenting in good faith or not.
With that out of the way, I do not believe I am expressing the mindset the standup is ridiculing. I believe the comedian is ridiculing someone who gets mad or threatened over their partner orgasming with a vibrator. I also dislike and condemn this behavior. I am only trying to provide a shade of subtlety to the ongoing social discussion on this issue by saying that the sexual desire in itself to bring one’s partner to orgasm without a vibrator is not a shameful or condemnable belief to hold. I had thought you and I were in total agreement, in fact, until you said that the desire itself should be condemned. Perhaps you misunderstood what I meant by “the wishing itself”. But if not, then there’s a much more interesting discussion to have that could touch on a lot of cool subtleties about the issue, and we might both enjoy thinking about it.
Once again I’m sorry for having been frustrating. At the very least let me reaffirm as plainly as possible: someone being angry, bitter, jealous, or hurt by their partner not orgasming in the way they want, is exhibiting a harmful sexual mentality that should be changed. I hope our agreement on that front allows you to mark me off your “one of those assholes who is mad about the vibrator” list. ┐(´ー｀)┌