We god fearing Christian folk don’t use any kind of lewd objects when engaging in activities designed to expand the kingdom. They will turn you from an upstanding citizen in to a degenerate back-alley harlot faster than you can say “forgive me father for I have sinned”. We get two minutes of dry missionary sex once a month with blindfolds on and only the smallest amount of movement possible to procreate. Anything more is shameful and should be outlawed post haste.