Reading OPs post and the responses… What even is sex? Are we just rubbing genitals and hoping both parties get off without paying attention to each other?

Even casual sex requires synchrony, alignment, flow, attentiveness etc. That’s part of what makes it enjoyable. Climaxing is the outcome of the connection made, however temporary, by that synchrony and alignment.

Treating sex like a race to the climax will only make you worse at it over time. Depriving it of initimacy and spirituality will make it so that you need to chase more and more physical stimulation to make it pleasurable.

The process is as important as the outcome (moreso even). Focus on that process if you want to make the experience better for you and your partner.