fr0g

You say you possibly were insensitive but that is not a reason to hate someone/not want to be around someone.

So how is that so different from your friends, who generally seem to appreciate your company, not realizing in the moment that their behaviour made you feel excluded. Just like you maybe didn’t realize your behaviour made the other guy feel excluded/looked down upon?

To me nothing can make it okay except if they could go back in time and say “were not going to exclude someone we like just because you hate them” but I’m not sure if that’s the BPD talking (they made a mistake and thus they cannot be my friend anymore)

I think you’re right that this should have been the response and your friends should have stood up for you.

But it also doesn’t sound to me like they were deliberately excluding you. Especially coupled with the “just pretend the other person isn’t there” it sounds like they’re mostly just too scared of conflict and were hoping the issue will go away by itself. Which is still poor behaviour but also not necessarily a sign of them not wanting you in the group. So my personal take is that you’re right to demand that your friends stand up for you more. But if they can do that and do stand up for you, I think it would also be fair to give them a second chance. Everybody makes mistakes at some point, it’s how people respond to those mistakes that really defines them imo.

I felt as though someone intentionally was trying to push me out of my own friend group and no one cared, therefore in my eyes it felt like people were okay for me to be pushed out.

Well that one obviously isn’t true. Because as you said yourself:

So I stopped talking to everyone altogether, some people DM me here and there, one person has said “other person was in the wrong”

and

Anyways recently people have been trying to get me to hang out again

Why not just shoot your shot? Either he’s interested, which could develop into something interesting, or he will turn you down and that certainty will then hopefully make it easier to stop focusing on him.

Seens to me like the main problem for you is the noise/fumes? If so, retaliating in secondary ways that aren’t related to the thing that’s most bothering you (although the car thing still seems relatively reasonable) is probably not gonna help and more likely to just lead to an escalating spiral of petty retaliation.

From the way you describe it, it seems like there is a good shot what they are doing is above the allowed levels of noise and maybe there are regulations for pollution as well? This is what I would try to focus and and try to look into in detail. See how good of a legal/regulatory case you have, not even with the direct intent to sue, but as a way to strengthen your negotiating position. Try to get a good picture of the facts and laws at hand, then try to communicate the situation clearly to them and if possible try to find a good compromise solution (moving the engines and stuff to a different part of the property). And if you have kindly and clearly stated your case and they still refuse, then you can still look into further options.

As someone who lived in the belly of the beast in NYC for a few years, this made me chuckle, thank you.

https://www.logicalfallacies.org/anecdotal.html

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Health_effects_from_noise

It’s not NIMBY shit depending on how loud those noises are. Loud noises are an actual physical stressor that can meaningfully mess you up, especially over prolonged periods of time and trying to show good will about the situation isn’t magically make that go away.

Maybe that’s not the case here, we can’t tell how much noise there is obviously, so it’s difficult to properly judge the situation.