I’m a momma and I was planning on driving my son down to the beach with some family/friends. I haven’t worn a bikini since my younger days since I’m super busy nowadays as a single mom working 2 jobs. As I was trying on some of my older bikinis, I couldn’t help but wonder how my younger self was confident enough to be this exposed. I’m not insecure about my body or anything, actually I’m pretty confident since I go to the gym often, so genuinely how do other women have the confidence to rock a bikini?
We are on vacation right now and my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not. Well that’s pretty fair I would say?
We are European though and probably a bit less prude than US Americans.my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach, because she says it’s unfair I can free my nipples and she can not
Doesn’t sound like she can’t.
Society and shit. I say boobs should be free.
and my SO actually wears only the bottom of the bikini and goes bra less to the beach
There actually is a drawing challenge (called MensSwimsuitChallenge) that tries to depict this.
example:
If boobs had guns like in Austin Power, our heads would explode trying to figure out if we cared about the 2nd amendment more or being prudes.
Well considering I’m going to be around my son and other family members that’s not really possible lmao.
Social conditioning, once again. We’re French, and it’s totally possible for us.
Yesterday, among strangers, at the local lake, my 42 year old friend was topless, playing with her 7 year old son and her 5 year old (naked) step-daughter. A 36 yo pregnant friend was wearing a string bikini around her husband, 6 yo daughter, and in-laws. It was a non-issue.
Not saying all rules can always be broken, but they’re heavily context- and culture-dependant.To be fair, if your son cares it’s only because you/society taught him to care.
Why? Does your son not understand human anatomy or is he afraid of boobs?
We all grew up seeing our moms boobs at some point.
Yes comrade, we all grew up seeing your mom’s boobs. 🫡
Swimming apparel is explicitly made from slightly thicker and very different material, keeping you from looking like you entered a wet-tshirt-contest. That alone is a big subconscious help. Or are you talking about the amount (or rather lack) of clothing?
It’s more of the general exposure of my midriff, cleavage, and cheeks. But I’ll probably just say fuck it and rock it anyways lol.
It’s not just Bikinis. It’s all swim wear, saunas in Europe, baths in Japan. It’s just socially acceptable and expected in the right context, and that expectation plays a huge role in comfort. The context seems to flip a switch in people’s brain.
The difference is consent
Obviously consent is the non negotiable standard nowadays (or I wish it were so) but it’s true that beaches/swimming pools as a social construct allow for a lessened sense of prudishness in public. Underwears simply do not belong to this construct
We have an ad for ice-creams in NZ that covers this topic https://youtu.be/h-Lx2ihpGbc
Did he call them budgie smugglers?
Yup! Cause it looks like you’re smuggling some small birds in there!
Speak for yourself. I’m smuggling a raven.
cognitive dissonance
And the version of that meme is also censored of course.
sorry i tried to find this meme, but after 15 minutes i gave up trying to find a higher-quality one, and settled for this one.
It does feel like going out in underwear, to a place where everyone is in underwear, and the people wearing full clothing look out of place. I don’t even have a perfect body but grew up near the beach, saw every possible body type in swimwear. So I am comfortable enough looking near naked in public, since everyone is. It’s nice.
I can’t speak from a women’s perspective, but wearing swimming trunks in public feels very different than wearing boxer shorts in public.
It does tbh
People here saying consent (fair enough) but let me tell you, clothes are suggestive. There is more to suggestion and context than the actual content. Is anybody shocked to see a nude statue in a museum or something? Or in a painting? Now how about somebody wearing nothing but a g-string and a harness? You can argue the harnessed person in a gstring is less exposed than any nude. I say no. Clothing adds to the exposure sometimes. Underwear isn’t meant to be seen, so when it’s seen, it prompts judgement.
Exactly. I see a bikini every time I see people swimming. Underwear though, that implies some form of intimacy
People are right in saying it’s context and consent, and it’s not completely gendered. Men’s swimsuits are basically just boxer shorts. Normally I’m not self-conscious about that, but a few months ago I signed up for a toddler swimming class with my son where I wound up being the only Dad, and suddenly I felt a bit exposed. I think the normalcy of walking around in nothing but a small pair of shorts kinda evaporated once I was the only man in the room.
Yeah, and if you get out of the water and have a “flattering” outline in your shorts, its suddenly becomes a much larger issue being the only adult male, and with children around… eesh.
Well, I wasn’t even thinking about that, but now I’ve got a whole new thing to be self-conscious about.
Do what makes you comfortable.
You’ll be out with family and friends, in an environment where most any swimsuit would be expected. Any lack of confidence would come from your own internal comfort, so you do you.
As a more practical suggestion if you’re on the fence, wear a wrap? Then you can decide how you feel in the moment.
social conditioning
I can’t contribute much except that I’ve asked myself this question many times. I guess some underwear is see-through but other than that it’s kind of the same attire.
I just got done working a comic convention this weekend. You might be pretty surprised by the general lack of clothing most people wear to those things (calling it a “costume”).
Just this weekend alone, I saw at least five guys walking around without a shirt, and I don’t know how many women wearing things that showed basically everything. Like so tight and thin I could tell what kind and color underwear they were wearing.
And this was in Indianapolis, far from a beach or lake, right in the middle of downtown.
