So as a kid, I was raised on the idea of taking responsibility and accountability for mistakes, actions, and work. I have always been kind of neurotic about making sure all that I do is proper, but I’ve lately been questioning if it’s even worth it.
Being an adult, all I ever see is evasion of responsibility.
Evasion of taxes Evasion of liability in car accidents Evasion of responsibility for mistakes etc.
For example, if you get into a car-wreck, the first thing anyone does is try to pin responsibility and liability on you for injuries and property even if you were in the right.
If something goes wrong, it’s never that person’s fault. If something goes right, it wasn’t just your work.
Idk, it’s a really random thought I had this morning. No one wants to take the blame, I get that, but the idea of evading responsibility is so deeply ingrained in our culture, that insurance companies use AI to auto-reject claims to avoid payouts.
I could go on with this little reflection, but I just find it so hypocritical that I was raised to act responsibly when American society’s MO is the exact opposite in the most fundamental ways.
I was in court a few times when I was younger. Nothing too major.
The first time, it really disgusted me seeing person after person get up before me and try to tell the judge how they hadn’t done anything wrong with just transparent horseshit. My turn came up, the cop testified to what happened, the judge asked me for my side, and I just said that it happened the way the cop said. The judge was legitimately a little taken aback.
What the fuck, what am I supposed to say? Maybe it would have been different if it had been big charges or if I had been less naive or something, or if there was some wiggle room in what happened, but I just didn’t see the point in wasting everybody’s time and making myself look stupid and dishonest.
(Note: Do not do this. Court reality is different from everyday life honorable reality. Get a lawyer, don’t say shit, fight to negotiate a better deal and threaten to waste their time and resources making them prove it if they don’t work something out with you. That is what a person will do if they want a good outcome. My priorities were different, I guess, I don’t know. I will say that in this case it didn’t wind up getting me in any more trouble than I would have been anyway. Mostly I’m just telling what happened to me and how I reacted and why.)
See, that’s the whole fucking problem: as I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that even if you want to be ethical, systems in society have been designed by sociopaths to exploit that inclination and punish you for it. From a game theory perspective, trying to be a good person in 2025 America has become a losing strategy.
The adversarial court system is one example, but increasingly fucking everything is like that. Tipping at restaurants is a tax on being nice. Deregulated utilities, insurance companies, telecoms, and all sorts of recurring-payment businesses like that form confusopolies to punish customers who don’t threaten to switch to competitors every six months. With digital goods, rentals are misrepresented as sales. There are contracts of adhesion with mandatory binding arbitration clauses everywhere. Everybody tries to screw you at every turn, daring you to go full Karen to fight with them to honor their agreements.
UK is the same. If you have TV Licensing goons show up and let them in and try to explain that you don’t need a TV, they’ll pin something on you. Best thing to do is shut the door in their face.
A while ago there was a guy walking back from his allotment and he got arrested by armed police for his trowel looking like a knife. He was told that he’ll need to wait a while for a solicitor, but could take an interview and be out soon without one. He did that thinking it was best, but they gave him a caution over it (which is basically only given if you make an admission of guilt, but it’s a warning and won’t go to trial, however, it appears on your record). My speculation is, he likely talked to them and tried to explain, and one likely said something like “yes but this could be used as a weapon? If someone attacked you, would you use it to defend yourself? There, you’ve admitted to carrying a weapon”
You can fess up to super minor shit like traffic violations, but yeah, a lawyer’s words should be the only thing a cop or judge hears. And FFS, dress appropriately.
I’ll take this opportunity to stump for legal insurance. $26/mo. gets a lawyer on the phone within the hour and free advice, all the calls I want, among other freebies. An actual court case is 25% off. The difference between the rich and poor is legal representation.
Random story, I once showed up groomed and in a suit that was sharp enough that the judge thought I was defense counsel (with the defendant not showing up) instead of the defendant, and I had to politely correct him. 😃
Same! I showed up to court in Arkansas for my child custody case and twice court officials asked who I was representing. A Mexican man’s young girl (he didn’t speak English) was begging me for help. God I felt bad, but I was trying to explain I was a defendant myself. :( Why did you make me remember that?!
One time when I was in court for a warrant (unpaid moving violation) and stood and answered roll call, “Thank you Mr. Shalafi for dressing appropriately for my courtroom.” I skated with only paying the fine.
Yeah. The judge in that situation was pretty chill with me as well. I feel like it’s like a lot of human interactions, if you show that you respect the other person’s side of the interaction, they’ll be inclined to do extra for you where they can.
Tell us more about this legal insurance…