• When I was a child, my family visited a Chinese restaurant in Washington DC, and we received hilarious gag fortune cookies. Mine said “If you’re reading this, the poison hasn’t worked yet.”

    My mother’s asshole boyfriend got one that said “Some people have it, some people don’t. And you don’t.” He lost his shit. Fumed for days, and I laughed my ass off.

  • 5 months

    I got one yesterday that said “You will always live in interesting times.” I got a cursed fortune cookie.

  • Pfft if I didn’t listen to the judge, I’m definitely not going to listen to some dumb fortune cookie

    • Struggling with how to read that… Punctuation would help… Are the professionals trained in bed? Or is the reader meant to seek their help in bed? Instructions unclear, fortune cookie stuck in dick.