The US legal system already has more than enough corporate sponsored laws. The copyright law is not called “Lex Disney” for a joke. And those laws are way more profitable than any ad in a document nobody actually reads could be.
“If you are a citizen of Apple, Microsoft, or Google, please contact the respective Corporate Citizenship Office for further information about which, if any, of the following applies to you.”
Please purchase a subscription to rent a license to your constitutional rights.
bro it already embeds commercialized prison slavery
this Constitution was brought to you by CoreCivic and GEO Group
Subscribe Now to get all of your rights.
comes with tiers: basic rights, rights plus, premium rights
That’s kinda how it already is:
Minorities White People The 1%
Then there’s the club 33 equivalent for the billionaire class.
Also with a mandatory arbitration agreement, the “supreme court” is really just one dude being the arbitrator, and that’s the corporate CEO’s brother.
We’re sorry. You have insufficient funds for citizen level rights, and pursuant to the 104th ammendment, your rights will be reduced accordingly.
You are now Peasant class. Please report to your nearest farm for manual labour and the natural beauty of sleeping under the stars. For a mere $200/month, you can be waitlisted for a rights upgrade to lower plebian 3rd class.
I mean… the original versions had a lot of carve outs for states to tie rights and even personhood to land ownership.
Not to mention shit like the Three Fifths Compromise which definitely tied personhood to skin color and the money to say your kids were just tan.
Well that’s kind of always the case.
If you don’t pay your taxes you lose some of your rights, in almost any country.
Nah it will just be paywalled and copy protected.
The founding fathers intended it to be a living document brought to you by Carl’s Jr - Fuck you I’m eating.
The crops crave electrolytes
It’s what plants crave.
To be real, the worst part isn’t that we’re joking about it; it’s that it’s already happened:
It’ll be 90% complete and just end there with a simple statement:
Usage limit reachedAnd starts with “Writing a constitution for your new country is an exciting task! A constitution serves as the foundation of a nation’s government, outlining its structure, powers, and limitations, as well as the rights and freedoms of its citizens. Here’s a general outline to help you get started:”
(actual local LLM model reply)
Mine ended with “Remember to tailor your constitution to your country’s unique history, culture, and values. It is also essential to ensure that the document is clear, concise, and easily understood by the citizens it serves. Good luck!”
I think we messed that part up.
Can’t rewrite a living document after it dies. It may be time for a new one. Many countries have taken ours as a lesson for what to do, and what not to do (iirc Chile is an example, possibly Peru - memory is fuzzy). Somewhere we forgot it was supposed to change with our needs, thus it may no longer be fit for purpose. If the system collapses, we have infinite possibilities for something new and improved.
Now for the followup question:
Will these ads be in the form of namedropping corporations and products as the “official government sponsor/provider/service” or will it be in the form of an ever-changing constitution that due to its ephemeral nature can only exist digitally and will require a 30-second ad to access?
deleted by creator
This section about lawful intercept is sponsored by Preparation H
